Act 2, Scene 1

2009 seemed to last 18 months or more, slowly moving on, squeezing each and every last drop out of the year. But now all of a sudden we're almost 3 months through 2010 and I'm wondering where it went, along with the last 27 years.

October brought with it the rain and the cold, and saw me wearing shoes once again. The summer, much like the rest of life is a blur to me. I recall training with my rings then going to bathe in the nearby river, and spending hours, and also many subsequent shoelaces and bits of string attempting to make fire with a bow drill. And if the warm Finnish weather hadn’t lasted long enough we spent a week in Spain at the very beginning of September. It’s always surprising how much of an effect the weather can have on your mood and motivation. And also how even people in much warmer climates appear to be intolerant of the shirtless and shoeless.

2009 was a period of active rest, and time spent exploring new avenues in both unfamiliar and familiar environments.

I returned to England in the middle of November to look for a job, a career, or some direction in life to focus upon. Shortly afterwards I came across an advert for a job that really spoke to me. I felt good when reading it as I imagined myself in the position, getting paid to do something that I was interested in, to become a personal trainer and to finally give back some of what I have learnt over the years.
The course I was originally interviewed for and accepted onto turned out to be more money than what I wanted to pay, but I searched some more and found an even better sounding course which was half the price. I began in January and spent 6 challenging weeks on the intensive course. I had to spend a total of about 4 hours travelling every day, and with homework and revision to do I didn’t have time for much else. Initially I kept up my own training for the first week or so, and would fit it in as soon as I got home, but later decided to take it as an opportunity to rest.

The whole experience was quite strange to me as I had never really trained or been in a gym like this before, and I found that quite soon I was having to teach and be tested on things that I had very little experience in. Much of what I did was out of my comfort zone and I felt at times that I was having to become someone that I believed I wasn’t. The first weeks were bumpy as I was outspoken in my disagreements with the tutors and others on the course, but I decided that it was more beneficial for me to go along with the flow, even if I didn’t agree with it. Ultimately I passed the course by ticking the relevant boxes, and learned a few things on the way, without wasting all my energy trying to get people to see eye to eye with me.

Spending 6 weeks in a working gym environment around people who seemed unaware of parkour , its ideology and the methods that surround it, which appear to be in many ways polar opposites, was an eye opener for me and allowed me to get a better perspective on things. Although the course was beneficial, it all seemed to amount to theory, as regardless of what you are taught, unless you spend weeks, months and years testing it out on yourself and other people, then you really have no idea of whether or not it is you are doing and teaching is actually working or not. I came away feeling that I had learned far more through my own research and practical application than what we were trying to cram in in the time given. But nevertheless, I earned my qualifications, and now I am able to use the population as my guinea pigs.

Another thing came out of me doing the course, and that was I realised that although I am passionate about teaching in its many forms, I am more passionate about learning, and my own progress. There are so many things that I want to do, learn and experience that I feel I can’t be tied down to any one particular job, or location. I am excited about the possibilities that the future holds, there is an infinite void that is ahead of me, and instead of it being daunting because of this uncertainty, I see a blank space into which I can put anything I want or am capable of dreaming up.

Besides procrastinating a lot, I have been writing and conjuring ideas in equal measure, while I once again figure out how to tackle the task of updating my blog. This post is a long time coming and is really in its second carnation, because as always I have experiences that inspire me to write, or at least to think, but I edit myself in my head, because although I want to be honest and upfront in my writing, I don’t want to just spew out negative trash. I could spend my few precious words talking about the various things that I might disagree with, wish to change or just outright hate about the world, but there are plenty of other people doing that in their daily lives, and I’d feel no better for doing the same. I’d consider myself an idealist, and as such I’d rather write about things that feel good, at least for the reader’s sake if not my own.

After finishing my course I travelled back to Finland at the very beginning of March, and then on to Madeira for a week before returning to Finland and then back to London again a week later. Having lived the last two and a half years in some sort of European limbo, journeying back and forth, I now find it difficult to remember which way to look when crossing the road, and where I have been the last few months, let alone any further back in time. Photography is perhaps the only way I might remember the lives I’ve lived.

When in Madeira we made our way down to the sea for the first time, and found ourselves in what looked like a scene from a post-apocalyptic film. The promenade had been washed away some time ago and the stony beach was strewn with large pieces of driftwood, various plastic items and more interestingly lots and lots of abandoned sandals, flip flops, shoes and rubber boots. A row of bent street lamps lead to the cliffs where a now closed off tunnel bore its way through the rock. I had the idea to collect all of the shoes that I could find, but it wasn’t until some days later that I actually returned to do so. At first I spent hours under the sun collecting every piece of footwear that I could find, picking through the stones with deliberation and purpose like a one man rescue and cleanup crew. The next step was to arrange everything on a section of the concrete walkway that was left, and atop a lone concrete pillar whose function was a mystery to me.
In my mind I wanted to create something that would intrigue anyone who happened to come to the beach. I like the idea of collecting and grouping lots of similar things together, and the effect that this has on the viewer. For example, a single cat may be cute and fluffy, but when you put a hundred of them in the same room and they are all climbing and running about over each other and everything in sight they seem to form some kind of larger entity that is no longer the same. It’s similar to seeing shoals of fish, or flocks of birds that move as an ever changing and fluid form that has no clear leader. Who is following who? Or are we all just following each other?
The pillar was too high and the sides were too flat to simply climb up, so I found a large heavy log from nearby that I was able to use to reach the top. After I was finished placing the shoes on top of the pillar I removed the log and placed it out of the way so that anyone who hadn’t seen me would wonder how they had gotten up there.
During my time on the beach my little project generated a lot of interest from people in the nearby hotels that were overlooking the sea, passersby and even some of the locals. The reason I began in the first place was simply because I wanted to take a photo or two, but it turned into a public installation that everyone else wanted to photograph too. I like to go to great lengths in order to take a photograph or to simply create something mysterious to leave behind for someone else to find. I like to do things that I would appreciate discovering or experiencing if someone else had done it and I was on the outside looking in. I think this feeling goes back to my childhood when I would see the graffiti on my walk to and from our local school. It was a mystery to me because it would turn up over night, these huge letters painted by people who had absolutely no face, age or background. They were literally unimaginable to me.
I’m fascinated by the act of doing things just for the sake of art, and the people that choose to leave parts of themselves behind in this way. I used to draw little sketches on the daily newspapers and then discard them on the train, imagining that someone might see them and maybe appreciate it more than the newsprint. I’ve also considered leaving writing and drawings in pages of library books for unsuspecting people to discover. I may have actually done it already, it’s just my memory isn’t always good when it comes to such things.

I’ve been contemplating producing drawings or paintings to sell, after being inspired by someone more business minded than myself, but I’m struggling with it. The thing is it takes over 10 hours at the very least for me to complete a single A4-sized sketch, and not only that, but I only draw when I feel like it, so it’s almost impossible for me to sit down and create a piece for the sake of selling it. I think the romantic notion of being an artist and selling your work just doesn’t apply to me and the way I operate. I’m very wary of getting into the domain where business and art meet as I think it’s all too easy for people to lose sight of their initial purpose, and instead end up being bound by the obligation to create for money. It gives rise to the question ‘is it possible to earn a living as an artist while still preserving your integrity and artistic vision?’ Maybe not for me, but it’s easy to get swept up in the enthusiasm that other people have for your work.

My mind has been on films a lot lately, although I haven’t purposefully shot anything in a long time. I still have a video from the summer of 2008 that I recorded and edited in one day, but being unhappy with the original edit I have so far failed to follow through with the subsequent attempts at re-editing. I think it’s something worth waiting for though, as the dancing and music are equally odd.
I’ve also been fleshing out other ideas and planning a structure for a feature length documentary that I would like to make someday. The focus of the documentary is how my friends and I came together through dance and flourished in our inability to conform, not only to the expectations of society, but also to the expectations of the subculture that we were at odds with. I’m also considering highlighting other artists that I know in order to shed light on the unseen lives of those who have been seemingly lost in the shuffle, or are just simply left behind.
I’ve been looking into making an application to the arts council for funding of this documentary, but I may just have to pay for everything myself. Either way the film will be made.
Lots of other ideas I have seem to be spilling out of my mind as I am holding back until I get a new camera that can do them justice. For this reason I feel a little stagnant, as I’m dying to breathe life into them and turn them from thoughts and words into images, before they fade out of existence. I think I may have to draw up storyboards and collect as much information as I can in order to keep the fire fuelled, then hopefully by the time I have a new camera there will be nothing left to do but hit record.

I’ve been really active in my job search since I got back from holiday, and I’m constantly having to assess and reassess what it is I want to do, not only for work, but for life. Looking for work has really highlighted the failure of the government and society as a whole to cater for the needs of the individual. Instead of the unemployed being rehabilitated so to speak, they are being driven towards jobs that once again, will not sustain them and their need for fulfilment, satisfaction and belonging. Sometimes I feel totally immersed in madness as I look around me. It is commonplace to find governments, organisations and individuals all hurrying around in their attempts to deal with the endless stream of symptoms, but when is it the root causes will be even looked at, let alone dealt with? Perhaps I am asking too much at this time.

So my job hunt has inspired me to find a cure, and the journey to discovering that cure is proving to be quite exciting so far. I have come to the realisation that as far as I am currently aware, there isn’t a single job out there that I want to do! This is because there are so many different areas in which I am interested that I don’t envision myself being tied down to any single role as yet. What I do want to do however, is to try out as many things as possible, and to learn and have fun in the process.

I’ve been writing a lot, making little notes here and there, in my writing pad, on scraps of paper and anything to hand. I find that being able to record my thoughts, ideas and inspirations as I have them has made me feel better if nothing else. I write out plans and questions to myself that I then have to answer. I think I find clarity in writing, and piece together my brief notes to use them as a map. All these ideas are like seeds scattered in between my possessions no matter where I live. They all need tending to if they are to grow, instead of lying dormant in the soil of my mind.
I find it easy to sit writing for hours when an idea feels good to me and one thing just flows out of another. As a young teenager I used to play a lot of computer games, maybe not any more than the rest of the people my age, but what I always had in mind were the improvements that could be made to games, as well as ideas for completely new games. I remember I had a folder full of ideas that I wrote, plots, themes, characters and just about anything you could think of. I would write a single word or two from top to bottom of the page for each idea, and then I would expand upon each one and continually branch out further and further, one idea leading to the next. I don’t remember what I thought at the time, whether I was thinking about showing them to anyone or not, but what I do remember was just being immersed in the ideas and the possibilities. I wasn’t thinking of the limitations of the software or hardware that was available 15 or so years ago, instead I was free to explore the potential of what could be, only limited by my imagination.
What I have been doing lately is similar to what I did during that time, only now I am using writing as a stepping stone towards turning these ideas into reality once they have been refined and the details have been worked out.

The power of connection and the internet is becoming more and more apparent to me as new ideas are born. We exist in a time where we are almost inescapably exposed to different ways of thinking, living and viewing the world. I think for many people this can be liberating as we are shown things that not only we thought were impossible, but many of them we hadn’t even imagined at all. If America was the land of opportunity, the internet is a whole universe of opportunity, as its ability to connect people of all different backgrounds and ages is unprecedented, and its size and potential are infinite. I believe that the internet is the manifestation of man’s desire to feel connected with everyone and everything around him.

Recently I have been trampolining twice, and hope to go weekly if my budget allows. Having had less than optimal flexibility in my upper body it has become clear that in order for me to best learn tumbling and a whole host of other gymnastics skills, I would first need to get my posture and flexibility in order. I have found that trampolining allows me to mainly bypass this issue and so I get to train and have fun doing flips and learning good technique. For the short time that I have been trampolining I had the feeling that this is something I could really spend many long hours practicing and perhaps get really good at. I think my training in other areas really helps, and there are many skills that cross over from one physical activity to another. Earlier this year while I was in Finland I went out ice skating during a particularly cold period. Now, I have been ice skating less than 10 times in total, whereas most people in the north of Europe are actually born straight into their first pair of skates. From the first time I set foot on ice I have improved dramatically, and in a matter of hours taught myself to skate backwards in either direction as well as show off with at least a triple pirouette. I picked up advice from professional instructors on youtube and just went out to put it all into practice. It’s funny trying to describe what it felt like, but having the ice mainly to myself and gliding happily around, practicing things over and over, I felt as if I had found my calling, again. I wonder how it is people decide to divide their time when they have so many interests.

In January I did a bit of 1 rep max testing on a few things; barbell back squat, weighted chin up and weighted muscle up on rings. I was pleased with my squat, especially considering that I had only spent about 3 months in total in order to achieve the weight, but I was less pleased with the other two tests. But regardless, it provides me with a starting point from which to move onwards and upwards.

At the moment I am focusing on learning to deadlift with the aim of being able to lift 1.5x bodyweight by the end of June, but mainly concentrating on exercises to improve posture and I’ve even started running barefoot, although I can’t go for very long before my calves become tired. Later on I’m going to work on sprinting, both on flat and upstairs or hills for power and speed, but at the moment I’m happy doing corrective exercises and building lower body strength/stability. I may try a beginner’s plyometric routine in the summer, but it depends on whether I’m actually training Parkour or not at the time. I feel I’m ready to do something different again, so moving away from strength training and back into dancing, climbing and hopefully trampolining more often should wake me up a bit. One thing’s for sure, I’ll be wearing shoes less and less again as the warm weather looks like it’s here to stay, shorts is all I intend on wearing.

As a child I loved to be active, and like most kids I didn’t have to make an effort to get exercise as it was just all fun. In primary school P.E was probably one of my favourite lessons and I liked to play and do everything, but I wasn’t passionate about any one thing in particular, like how most boys really loved football. I enjoyed the physical side of sports, and in football I liked to run and chase down the ball over and over again, and get really stuck into talking and regaining control of the ball. Like some kind of hyperactive dog.
I think the first thing I was aware of being any good at was running, I enjoyed long distance, but I think I was better at sprinting, and was fond of running across the grass in my socks, as I was much faster without my shoes.

At some point I remember doing more acrobatic things during lunchtime, along with one of my good friends, but in those days most friends were good friends. We would take it in turns to do headstands on the grass while the other ran and jumped through the open pair of legs. We were probably the two most daring kids in the world at the time.

During the great storm of 1987 a large tree blew down and came to rest in our back garden, its trunk reaching from left to right, and its branches now at ground level formed a huge jungle for us to play in temporarily. That day school was cancelled and the course of our lives was changed forever.
My dad and his friends removed the smaller branches, but there the body of the tree lay, giving us our own unique piece of apparatus that would remain in place both physically and as the backbone of my childhood.
Besides climbing along to the highest end of the tree and jumping off, I also began to use a smaller, perfectly sized branch to do chin ups. Back in those days I had no reason to be any stronger, I simply wanted bigger muscles to show off with, spurred on by the fact that there was a boy in our class at the time who was at least 3 years older than us, and so consequently he was taller, and possessed the biceps that I wanted.

Not only were we the only family I’ve ever known that had a fallen down tree in their back garden, but we also had a climbing frame, made from old scaffolding wrapped in multicoloured tape, situated right in the centre of our bedroom. For these two reasons our house was popular with lots of other children besides my siblings and I.

We were always good friends with our next-door neighbours, and for the longest time the fence that separated their garden from ours was sufficiently trampled for us to run freely from one side to the other, in what was a little oasis of trees, grass and good times.
With one of my neighbours I spent hours throwing myself around trying to learn somersaults, and jumping off of the swings, seeing how many spins we could get in the air. We also had a huge rope swing that we would use to propel ourselves as far as possible before letting go, and now I think of it we were lucky to grow up with access to two gardens and all they offered.

Perhaps when I was about 7 or 8 I took up karate for the shortest while in living memory. There was a girl in my class whose dad was the sensei and he came to teach at the school in the evenings. I remember wanting to learn how to smash bricks and chop wood with my bare hands, but also earn myself a cool belt. I was so young that I remember having trouble trying to draw circles with my foot in the warm up, as if I hadn’t learnt how to control my body yet, but more than that I remember feeling tired, and sitting on the sidelines. I was part of a demonstration that took place during one of the school’s summer fairs, where all we did was take it in turns to drop each other to the floor. I didn’t learn to break anything with my fists as I was far too young to have any discipline or desire to spend so long doing something that wasn’t immediately satisfying.

In secondary school I still liked to do lots of sports, but less so as they began to be more rigid during lesson, and there were now far more people in my class who were far more competitive. There was one boy who was considered a geek, but I remember seeing him do an aerial cartwheel after scoring a goal or something, and from that point onwards I was inspired to take up gymnastics just like him. I was briefly ridiculed for being a boy who does gymnastics, but it didn’t last long, and I cared more about learning than I did of other people’s opinions. I don’t think I ever really played football during my lunchtimes at secondary school, but I do remember learning to kip up from my back to my feet, and trying to do the splits at the back of the class during physics lessons.
I think I did gymnastics for about a year, before not quitting, but rather being too scared to go back because I didn’t do any training or conditioning over the summer break, and I didn’t want to face the embarrassment or the telling off from my teacher.
Even though I was only 14, I was the oldest person in the class, as most people were at least 3 years younger than me. We weren’t taught very difficult things as it wasn’t exactly a serious class, but I did enjoy the training and this was to become one of my first loves. At the time I had a crazy idea in my head about wanting to be some kind of ninja. I wanted to do gymnastics and take up some other martial art, and just combine the two to become what I imagined a ninja to be like.
Long before my gymnastics/ninja episode I came up with the concept of being ‘All Terrain Boy’ as I made it home as fast as I could, jumping down and running up stairs, and swiftly navigating anything in my path. Later on I was to cartwheel off of things and go running away, imitating computer games trying to do hurricane kicks, dragon punches and 24 hit combos. This was my genesis.

As time goes by and I learn something new or get a new perspective on things, I re-evaluate everything over and over, and I’m happy with putting myself back at square one to be in the position of a beginner again. I’ve had many experiences in various areas, and rather than being a veteran I would like to consider myself an experienced beginner, as this sums up my desire to stay fluid and always be willing to learn new things about old subjects. I’m also becoming increasingly aware that no matter what I learn or achieve, there will always be somewhere to go beyond that, and that eventually it’ll all be gone.

Yesterday, Thursday 22nd of April was officially the first day of summer, and we are awake again. I was passing a pub looking at the people inside and then I caught a glimpse of my own reflection, and upon reflection I thought to myself ‘I’m an adult now’. It’s funny how I find it so easy to not be able to relate to people of all ages, especially my own.

What I am planning and would like to do in the near future is to coach people in learning Parkour or helping anyone who is interested in dance and physical expression. I’d prefer to teach one to one, or in very small groups, as I want to get to know those who I teach, and for them to get to know me too. I want to remove the impersonal nature of trying to impart information that comes with teaching en masse, and instead to share experiences and ideas in a more natural and focused way. My intention is to teach strength conditioning and corrective exercise as a foundation for learning technique and creative exploration in whatever area people wish. Most importantly though, I want to offer these services free of charge to anyone who is serious about learning and is willing to put in the time and effort. There are many reasons for this, but I believe that I can be more accessible and more of use to people if I’m not tied down to or caught up in charging for my services, and ultimately it would give me the satisfaction of allowing the knowledge to pass through me and onto others.

Exit.

Friday 8th May - Present day

At the time of writing this I have spent over two months primarily without wearing shoes, both in training and in everyday life. There have been occasions where I've worn shoes or flip flops, for instance when going to the gym, as it saves me the trouble of having to wash my feet all the time, but mostly my feet have been enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.

Originally I had planned to spend a whole week training and living without shoes, but I thought to myself that I had no good reason to wait until that time to start, so I began Immediately.

The hardest thing about going barefoot is taking the first step and removing your shoes and socks and putting yourself in situations where you would feel awkward because of it. I think for most people it is not that they don't wish to be without shoes, or that they prefer the feeling of wearing shoes, but that it seems to break some unwritten social code, both in their own minds and the minds of others.

Although I have largely gotten used to being shoeless, there are still times when I feel the awkwardness, and I may think that I'd prefer not to draw unnecessary attention to myself. But I know inside that what I really want is to be without shoes, and that it is more important for me to face my fears, than to live comfortably, merely wishing that I could do what I want.

I had a conversation with my mum about not wearing shoes, and how that sometimes the reason for doing it may be to prove some kind of point, or something other than the fact that you enjoy it and believe that you'll be better off for doing so. What I was saying, and what I'm saying now is that I'm not anti-shoe, nor do I wish to be, but rather I prefer to be without them. For example my wife wanted us to go to a restaurant that I hadn't be too before, and she said that on this occasion she wanted me to either wear a t-shirt or put shoes on, that she didn't want to go out with me in just a pair of shorts (looking kinda homeless). In this instance I opted to go shoeless and put on a t-shirt for once, but the point is that I aspire to be flexible, instead of discovering something new and then immediately making it a rule or law which to live by.

In the conversation with my mum I said that although going without shoes doesn't harm anyone else, it doesn't mean that I should use this as my reason or excuse to be without them in every situation. For example, there will be times when people being the way some people tend to be, will be disgusted or offended by the sight of someones feet in supermarket, or on the bus for instance. And that in situations where we become aware that we are contributing to someones upset, our preference for not wearing shoes should be overruled in favour of keeping the peace. After all, the point isn't simply to stop wearing shoes, but to enjoy life without them, and how can you really enjoy that experience when you are aware that it is indirectly upsetting another, and it is within your power to change that at least in some small way?

I'm a vegetarian, but I wouldn't say I'm anti-meat. I disagree with many of the issues surrounding meat production and consumption, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't eat meat if I had to. I'd be more than happy to go to the river to fish for my dinner.

My point is that it is very useful to become aware of if, and when our ideas and ideals have a negative impact on the way we are living, and are actually serving only to keep us from the peace and happiness that those same ideals were meant to protect in the first place.

I'm down for the cause, but I'm not a martyr for it.

During my stay in London I had the opportunity to train with some friends of mine who I had first met some time ago, but had never really spent much time with - which is probably true for many people I know. I went to train in the far reaches of North London with The Saiyan Clan, who run small, but lively classes for local teenagers, practically in their own back yard!

I was given the chance to help out with one of their classes, in so much as that I freestyled some demonstrations of movements that the kids could practice to build strength as well as coordination and control. I also made it along to some of their group training sessions on sundays, where we all got together and shared ideas, but without the structure or time constraints of the class. It was good for me to spend time training with other people again, and also to see newcomers returning to sessions to put the effort in that it takes to progress.

Although the actual lessons aren't free, they are very cheap and are intended to be non-profit. Cable and Blake take the time and the effort to teach and support these classes in a way that encourages their students to do their own thing, and to me it felt more like they were one big group of friends rather than a class. I thank them for inviting me along and giving me the opportunity to share my madness and methods, and also for the honorary Saiyan Clan t-shirt!

Peace Jam

The last week of May was the week that I originally intended to spend barefoot, as I had decided to come to central London every day that week to train, and so invited what few people I know to come and join me. The numbers that came on any given were barely enough to qualify as a group, but the company was good. I spent the week training rings, weights and Parkour, and felt surprisingly fresh by the end of it all.

I spent the last day in Vauxhall with various people from the Parkour Generations off the wall jam that was being held that day, and the place was literally swarming with people jumping swinging and vaulting off of everything in sight as there was also another big jam scheduled on the same date. I managed to get on and do what I wanted, although there were so many people out that day you had to pay even more attention than usual as it was likely you'd be hit by someone flying through the air if you weren't careful. Group training isn't really my thing, but I made the most of it and got to see a few old faces while I was out and about. Thanks to all those who turned up, you know who you are.

Looking back over my notes, both mental and written, I haven't really practiced much Parkour as such over the last year. June 1^st marked my 6 month anniversary of rings training, during which time that is pretty much all I did, and since then I haven't done much in the way of practicing any techniques either. That's not to say that I haven't been out running and climbing, but it has been more of something I just do for fun on occasion, rather than any focused training or drilling of techniques. This is partly because I've been in a bit of a state where I don't know what it is I want to accomplish, but also because I've been having fun simply training for strength alongside swimming and cycling for the pleasure of it all. I've even begun to dance again, and made a promise to myself that I will set aside the time to do so more often.

Towards the end of May I decided to do a little test to see how much extra weight I could chin up. I was at a friend's house and had been helping him devise a new bodyweight only strength training regime involving the rings he had just bought, and there he had lots of weights as he was more experienced with bench pressing and so on. With the help of my climbing rope and the encouragement of my eldest brother I went about testing for my 1RM. The only thing I was confident would take my weight plus whatever I added was the rings, which wasn't ideal as the extra instability probably meant that I couldn't lift as much as I would have done from a solid bar.

Aside from having never done any weight training before, I had completed my usual rings routine the previous day as well as various exercises earlier on the day in question, so I wasn't in the best of shape, nor was I feeling too confident. Nevertheless, I went ahead and started straight away by adding 30kg to the rope, which at this point was slung over my shoulder. After feeling how easy it was to pull up I had decided in my mind that I would be satisfied if I managed to get to 40kg, so the weight went up in increments of 2 and a half kilos til I got to 40kg. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself and also close to the point where I thought I couldn't do any more, but my brother urged me on to try more, so I decided just an extra half kilo would be enough for now. To cut a long story short, I didn't make that 40.5kg lift, until I rested and begun to hang the weights off of my waist instead. After that I decided to set my aspirations higher and went on adding weight up until 50 kilos, at which point I could only pull up about halfway. So after more than ten separate lifts I settled for a personal best of 47.5kg, at a bodyweight of about 65kg. This was a very good confidence boost for me seeing how training bodyweight only exercises, if done correctly can lead to great strength when it comes to lifting weights. On that day I decided that I would again test my 1RM on weighted chins six months from now at the end of December, with the hope of being able to chin up my full bodyweight in addition, still staying away from weights and sticking to training with my rings. I took a few days off after that, and did think about seeing how well I would fair in pressing extra weight, but only got round to doing a pushup with my 50 kilo brother on my back. Regardless, it seems clear to me that what I had previously read was true; that gymnastics bodyweight strength conditioning has a good carry over when it comes to using weights, but the reverse is not true.

Self-myofascial release

I begun doing this a few years ago perhaps, but then fell out of the habit of doing it, and only just took it up again a couple of months ago, but all I can say is that I recommend it to everyone. Read the article and try it out for yourself, I've either been using a wine bottle or an old, large rolling pin, so no need to even spend any money!

http://www.tmuscle.com/readArticle.do?id=475832

For a change I had a few pictures taken of me by some other people before I returned to Finland. The first ones were taken during a session I had in a spot I had never trained at before. This particular place was right by a bus garage and main road, directly opposite a couple of bus stops and also the final destination for many buses, so it was by no means quiet and out of the way, which is what I tend to prefer. This was the reason I hadn't yet trained there, but on this particular day I had decided that I was ready to break the invisible barrier that kept me from going there, and feeling less liberated than I wished to feel. After the initial and predictable feelings of awkwardness I removed my shoes and climbed a tree where I left them along with the rest of my belongs, out of sight and out of reach, so I could focus on training, without the excess worry of having my possessions stolen.

Besides avoiding the unusually large amounts of broken glass everywhere, which in itself required good foot placement, I repeated a route across some small metal bollards, focusing on the feeling of what it is like to land with my toes gripping the surface staying well away from the middle of the foot. I also took the time to practice some underbars which I've never really liked, as well as the usual basics and other fun climbing, balancing and jumping related exercises. During my time at this spot I had two separate photographers take photos of me, and the ones by professional photographer Justin Kulaway can be seen here.

I don't usually like having my photo taken, but as long as I can just concentrate on what I'm doing naturally, then I don't really mind. It turned out to be quite a fruitful day and an overall positive experience that can be built upon.

The other photographs were taken by my infinite friend and all round manifester of interesting things Miss G Cook. For the first set we did a little night mission in the area around where I used to live in Crystal Palace, and for the second set all 3 of my brothers joined me for climbing fun and antics in the woods, which was a major milestone in our family history I'm sure of it! Some of the first photos can be seen online here.

Stay tuned for the others as they will appear on my own flickr page some time in the future when then becomes now.

The one significant thing I practiced while in London was more routes that started in awkward positions , lying down close to, and at odd angles to things that would immediately have to be vaulted upon getting to my feet. I found that by taking out the controlled and calculated run up to any obstacle made things more difficult, but more fun as it completely changed how I had to move. This way of training I used in conjunction with the games I mentioned in my previous post, and together it feels like by using them I am developing the ability to react quicker and make better use of the skills I have spent time learning in the past. Being more deliberately random and unpredictable is a good test of how well you can actually put into practice what you spend all your time learning.

The week after I returned to Finland we went on a little trip to a city called Turku on the west coast, where I met up with some guys visiting from Ireland as well as a couple of Finns who also practice Parkour.

On the day we arrived in Turku the temperature was so hot I had left the house in nothing but shorts and eventually had to resort to rolling them up, and felt grateful to be barefoot in such unforgiving weather.

Led by Tomi, one of the local traceurs, we moved slowly through the city centre to a couple of spots before stopping off in a park where Tomi later held a class. I set up my rings in a nearby tree and later on Tomi put up his slackline so we could take turns on that too. I didn't really do much that day, but it was good to have met up with Tadhg, Tony and Darran, on their visit from Ireland.

Along with Aleksi, Tomi invited me climbing the following day, a short car trip outside of the city to a place called Kustavi. I was collected early in the morning from outside our hotel on yet another hot day, with probably not enough rest, and definitely not enough to eat. After reaching a road that turned to dirt we parked up and then walked a short distance into the woods, further still away from civilization. The path led to a wall complete with huge boulders that must have been part of the same rock formation many years ago. Where larger pieces of rock had fallen away they created a network of gaps and tunnels which where ripe for exploring, and the whole area was ideal for training Parkour in a natural environment.

We came to climb though, and as I've never climbed on real rock with ropes, and heights are my number 1 phobia I wasn't looking forward to it. I watched a while as people slowly went up the impossibly flat wall, and didn't rate my chances very high. I slipped into Tomi's climbing shoes and got strapped up, before positioning myself in the shadow of the impending rock. I've never used chalk before, so that is how I did my first climb that day, feeling scared for my life pretty much from the moment my feet left the ground. There was a point about a third of the way up that I almost gave in because of how terrified I was, but at that moment the other part of my brain kicked in that said I have to keep pushing on to go past that, and push on I did until I reached the top.

On that day Aleksi had introduced me to an activity which I think has yet to be named, but could be described as primeval screaming, which is often accompanied by the hurling of large and heavy objects, sometimes from great heights, and sometimes in combination with running. Earlier that day I launched myself into this strange new world, along with a large tree branch from the top of the rocks that overlooked the surrounding area. I don't think I've ever made a sound with so much intensity and conviction as I did then, and it was liberating like nothing else. Upon reaching the apex of my first ever climb, and still feeling the adrenaline I let out a victory cry over my long standing nemesis, to let fear know that I'm here to stay.

That day I enjoyed two more difficult climbs which I persevered with and made it through, as well as more rock running, slack lining and mosquito dodging than you can toss a 40 pound log at.

Good times indeed.

On our last day in Turku we went to the beach to enjoy the ridiculously hot spell Finland seemed to be experiencing at the time, but shortly after we arrived with our suitcase in tow the rains began to fall and sent the fair weather beach bums packing. My idea was that if we sat it out long enough under our makeshift umbrella, the light rain would eventually stop, leaving the beach a lot less crowded than it was when we first arrived. But alas, it was not meant to be. The gods were angry and lashed us with rain that was truly unlike anything I've ever experienced before, it was literally as if buckets were being poured from the sky, and with so much force and determination it even worried me a little. We made it to the shelter of a nearby cafe, completely soaked through, looking like we had just been washed up on the shore like a couple of shipwrecked tourists. After dripping off and eventually changing into something dry, we both had hot drinks, by the end of which the sun had made it's comeback as if it had never gone, and we were once again ready to enjoy the sand and sea like we had originally intended.

The beach was indeed much less clogged with humans when we returned, although I was slightly surprised by how quickly people had taken to volley ball and frolicking so soon after such epic weather. Nevertheless I decided to set up my rings in the shade of a tree overlooking the water to go through the first day's strength training in a new cycle. Immediately after finishing I changed into my swimming trunks to go for a much deserved and also needed dip in the sea. I saw a girl playing around attempting to pull herself out of the water and climb onto the platform that reached out across the water and was quite someway above head height. She didn't make it with the help of her legs, but it inspired me to muscle up directly from out the water as I thought it was something that would be quite useful if you were in a situation without the means to simply step out of the water. Regardless of it's usefulness it was fun, and a nice evening was spent in the sun once again.

During the last six weeks that I was in London I did split squats three times a week with around 75lb as a sort of introduction to weight training, meanwhile continuing to work flexibility drills and practicing squatting with a barbell so that I could begin squatting with weights when I returned to Finland.

For the past three weeks I've been on a beginners training program for weighted back squats that initially starts out using an empty barbell and then progressively adds 2.5 kg every workout, providing that the previous workout is completed successfully. This is a 5x5 program, meaning 5 sets of 5 reps at any given weight, and the reason I chose this was because I didn't want to immediately jump in and try to lift as much as I could without the experience of lifting weights beforehand. And although I had been doing various exercises and stretches in the months leading up to beginning squatting with weight I didn't want to rush into things, and took it as an opportunity to learn something new entirely from scratch with as good form as possible, something that I would rarely if ever get the opportunity to do when practicing Parkour.

My first venture into the weightlifting area of the sports centre I go to was quite daunting, wandering into alien territory that was once only seen from my position on the high bar over the foam pit, or from atop the balance beam. There can potentially be 5 people squatting at the same time at the various stands and racks, and to my surprise there are plenty of men and women who do come to train their legs through barbell squats, as well as the usual hoardes of people bench pressing, lifting dumbbells and using the array of exercise machines that I can't make head nor tail of.

Overall, my confidence and technique have been steadily improving since I started, and practicing on my rest days has helped with both also. I've been trying to get to the gym as early as possible as it can get quite crowded and I wanna be able to get in and out as soon as possible.

Recently I've been going upstairs from the weights area to where there are a number of dance studios that can be freely used without booking, mixing up strength training with doing something creative and quite opposite in nature. When I'm finally done I cycle the short distance to the beach and maybe have something to eat and a swim in the sea before beginning the journey home. I've been pushing myself to do more swimming in the sea as it's something that has scared me in the past along with the power of the current, and not knowing how far or how long I am capable of swimming for is something I'm interested in experimenting with. As always the psychological aspect of the physical exercise is very apparent to me, as I can see how I perform so much better when I am able to keep myself relatively calm. The fear of the unknown and what may be below me, sometimes plays a big part in how long I swim for, but lately it hasn't even been in my focus at all, as I simply set my sights on the orange buoy in the distance and do what is necessary to get there. Without really intending to I find myself counting my strokes along the way, which I also think helps me to focus and stay calm. Just being in the open water under a wide blue sky is sometimes a scary and beautiful thing.

Before I began training at the gym I was going to the local woods to train with my rings as I had done in winter, but then afterwards I would make my way closer to the river and move downstream to a spot where I would park my bike and set my things down on a rock while I took a dip in the waters. Sitting in a river in the middle of a forest in the evening sun is not only a nice way to end a day's training but it really strikes me how so much pleasure can be had from the simplest of things around us. I think this is the thing about Parkour that sticks with me most - the ways in which through Parkour I have been exposed to and rediscovered the natural environment and the innate bond that we all have with it. That's not to say I couldn't have found it some other way, as I have done with fishing, but the combination of physical activities and just being outdoors with the elements is something that takes me back to my childhood and perhaps a more 'natural state', and stirs in me the desire to just do what I feel.

I also find that when I am surrounded by nature, often with no other signs of human life around it's very easy for me to relax, take things slower and focus better, whereas in the city this is a state that I have to actively try to recreate when I train. It's in these moments that I feel so far removed from the drama and endless struggle of trying to play catch up with whatever everyone else is doing it doesn't even matter if I train at all. I think that is partly why I've been training less and just enjoying myself more, because the environment I most often find myself in doesn't stimulate the same kind of response.

I may have briefly mentioned it in an earlier post, but here in Finland you can find wild berries growing almost anywhere, and a couple of weeks ago when on our way to a lake for a swim we found a nice patch of blueberries growing by the side of the road tucked into the edge of the forest. Getting to eat a freshly picked handful of berries reminded me of how strange it seems that you can find foods naturally growing and just go and help yourself, because our modern ways of living have separated us from such experiences. Plucking fruit from a tree or even catching a fish from a stream is so different from what we do when we go to a supermarket and just select whatever we want from the shelves, because immediately we have a direct connection to their origins and more input in the process of feeding ourselves and ultimately our own survival. That moment brought me right back to the feeling I first had when eating wild berries here, and it made me want to live a live where those sort of experiences and feelings were more common.

There's no other way you can truly understand what I'm talking about other than to actually go out and experience such things for yourself. And then you will understand the truth behind the cliche that we have lost touch with our environment.

Being barefoot for so long has shown me that it is one of the best ways to learn how to be more precise and conservative with movement as you can't afford to be lazy or careless, especially when training in more natural surroundings. It's my belief that it's much easier to train barefoot in the city where there's lots of flat, even surfaces and everything is more predictable. As an example, it can be very difficult to tell how stable the forest floor may be, or what sharp or loose objects are concealed beneath leaves and twigs just by looking. These are things that you only find out once you are walking or running across them. In the city my main concern is gravel or glass, or perhaps suspicious wet patches, but I think they're easier to avoid. If you take the idea behind good climbing technique - to put your hands and feet in the right positions first time, every time, and to make as few moves a possible, and then apply it to whatever you do or practice, you can develop a very useful habit, and fluid way of moving. This is something I'd like to work more on in the future.

It seems that the gymnastics rings are really catching on with more and more people getting into rings conditioning, and if you haven't yet got yourself some but are interested go to www.gymnasticbodies.com which is where I bought mine from. Currently I'm focusing on developing my core and pulling strength for front lever, as well as working towards strict non kipping, muscle ups without any forward lean. This is really the first year that I've been able to do a muscle up, as I started completely from scratch in December with jumping muscle ups and negatives, slowly following the progressions in order to build the most strength and best technique, long before I even try to do them on a straight bar again.

It's interesting looking back to not so long ago, and seeing the difference in the way I thought and approached training, and with that in mind it now also appears to me that in general Parkour training still seems to be quite a haphazard affair on the whole. I think trial and error is good for people who don't have any other options, but it's far from optimal. There may be some who don't want to train in the most efficient way because Parkour isn't about jumping the furthest or climbing the fastest, but it seems to me that the vast majority of people do want to excel at such things, and are simply not going about training for them in the best way.

Being someone who is primarily self taught when it comes to Parkour or dance I can say that the way I have trained in the past was in no way the best, but it was right for me at the time. I also believe that learning optimal techniques doesn't suddenly take away your freedom to create or do what you want, and in fact it probably allows you greater freedom to do so, as your energies aren't then wasted on trying to discover your own technique for the move you want. As an example if you teach someone the correct procedure for learning a back somersault and they follow it precisely they would have saved time on trying to iron out bad habits that may become unconsciously ingrained if they were just to go the trial and error route. The move is not the ultimate goal, so in any case why deliberately make learning it more difficult? Whether you do Parkour for fun or for some other deep and spiritual purpose, I'm sure you'd want to be able jump further, run faster and climb higher than you currently can.

Parkour doesn't become a competition by simply switching to optimal training methods, as it's your own motivations that determine what it is to you. If you're ever worried about any 'true' or 'original' meaning being lost, all you have to do is remain true yourself.

We went to a local swimming pool on Friday where there was a diving pool with two different heights from which to jump, the highest being 5 metres. Having never really jumped from anything remotely high into water I made sure that I jumped from them both. I think it was something that I would have normally avoided, but I knew that I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to face my fears again in a relatively safe setting. It turned out to only briefly be scary, but now my brain is still full of water.

I had started writing a book which is semi-autobiographical abstractical, but then I put it aside in favour of reading, and then drawing, and then I began writing a diary in Finnish. I'm a few days behind at present, but it's been going ok and I think it should help me get to grips with the language more. I'm contemplating whether or not to begin posting the pages from my book that I've finished so far, because my original plan was to upload the whole thing in one go once it was complete. But as completion dates are a rare thing around here and there's probably only so much of my handwriting and writing style that one can handle at a time, I'm thinking it might be a good idea to post it in installments, perhaps weekly. Anyway, keep an eye on my flickr page as usual.

Nothing much else to report really, unless I've forgotten something really important, in which case I won't sleep easy. I applied for a local evening job, but have yet to hear a final response, so I shall continue looking, or finding, depending on your philosophy.

It took me absolutely ages to even bring myself to begin the task of writing this, as is always the case, so forgive me for not updating sooner.

I've also been adding things to my favourites on youtube at long last, in order to highlight videos that aren't so well known and are sometimes quite random. You gotta start digging up those gems!

Godspeed.

Resetting Standards

Letting Go
Having learnt early on the importance of control and deliberate movement, I have become more aware that this way of practising isn’t always beneficial to me. I feel like my desire to have every move and the conditions in which I practice under my control, has now become a limiting factor in my training. By that I mean having a choice over how, where and when I move has meant that my progression up until now has followed a path that in some ways has been the one of least resistance. Parkour is (arguably) a free discipline that allows practitioners to determine exactly how and what they practice. So ironically, when you are the one who determines your own way, it is easy to be unknowingly held back by your own subconscious ways of viewing things, and the patterns of behaviour that you may be living out and naturally gravitating towards.

When you initially start out it can be the case that everything feels unnatural and awkward, but soon we find something that we like and then spend more of our time working on it. Thus, using our likes and our strengths as a guide to what we practice creates or reinforces a way of being, a way of thinking, and a way of moving that is a reflection of those strengths, but also in a more subtle way a reflection of our fears and our weaknesses. And in this way our training supports our old beliefs, both positive and negative, instead of creating new ones.

For me the problem is that I have felt I have been too controlling, and fooling myself that I am simply ‘going my own way’, and that perhaps I wasn’t meant to do certain things, when deep down I think it has just been part of an elaborate excuse to avoid facing my real fears. This same idea can be applied to anything, and now that I look at it I can see other areas in life where I have made those excuses before.

Part of my new approach to training has been to use my fears as a blueprint for what I should be practicing, rather than what I should avoid. I have spoken about this before as being a potential method of training, but it has only recently begun to be set in motion as the primary driving force behind what I do.

Again I am unsure of what sparked this revolution inside me, but this week alone I have done things that at one point I believed would take me months to build up the courage to overcome.
I started out by climbing a tree that didn’t have any branches low enough to reach either from standing or jumping, and then climbed progressively higher until I reached the top. In my mind I was clear that by frequently challenging and facing my fear of heights, it would over time become the norm for me to be in such places, without worry. In a similar way I knew that if I climbed to a height at which I became scared, but then stopped and waited around for long enough, my fear would subside and enable me to go higher. Using this technique, and given enough time I could potentially climb to any height. The only limiting factor being my desire to confront those fears head on, time after time.

A thought that I had in relation to all this was the way that if you are travelling along a motorway at high speed without interruption, you soon become accustomed to the speed and it no longer feels fast until you speed up again. The point being that whatever you view as being normal is whatever you experience and expect to experience on a frequent enough basis. It sounds so simple that I may be a fool for writing it, but this is the idea that lead me to the belief and solution for freeing myself from my fear of heights, or any fear for that matter.

Up until this point I had it set in my mind that some people were naturally afraid of such things, and that some people weren’t, and I was just someone who was unlucky enough to be lumbered with these sometimes irrational thoughts. Now I see it as being something within my control, only if I choose to actively do something about it, instead of resigning myself to the idea that it cannot be changed.

I had spotted a branch that reached out and across the roof of some garages, and had thought about hanging from it when I first made it up into the tree, but was too afraid to even test it. After climbing down from the very top I had committed myself to making it along the branch, and although I wasn’t so nervous I was still stuck with my familiar worries, unable to take the first steps to grabbing the branch where it joined with the trunk of the tree. Ignoring or going against my fears, I eventually had both hands wrapped unnecessarily tight around the branch and gently lowered my legs to a hanging position in mid air. Immediately I felt a rush of relief as I was now aware of how irrational my fears had been, and how in fact there wasn’t anything worth worrying over.

I climbed across to the garages and then down to the ground again, the first part of my mission was over. Knowing that balancing at lower heights would seem less of a worry after being where I was, I had planned in advance to go straight to the support bar on a swing set in the children’s playground next to where I was. Once again, feeling uneasy and unsure of myself in this new situation I decided for the time being I would be ok with just crouching on the flat bar which was about 5cm wide. Shortly after I found the courage to stand up, and then upon taking my first step I said to myself that if I can step with one foot, then I can step with the other, creating a snowball of confidence. In the space of a few minutes I went from literally shaking with fear just from being crouched at that height, to walking confidently back and forth. I repeated the route a few times to solidify in my mind the feeling of confidence and the idea that it is something I am more than capable of doing.

The next day at the end of my session I walked the same route with double the repetitions this time, noticing how quickly I could walk without having to rely on looking down at my feet.
The following day that I trained, I set my sights back on what I had already planned to confront, but had ignored after an initial promising period. Without much commitment to the task I had at some stage given myself the challenge of being able to walk across the top bar of the football goal by June. I had spend a few occasions just sitting on the bar getting used to the height, once for an hour, slowly traversing from one side and back, stopping to let go with my hands and hold them above my head, in front and behind me. This time I had to push further though, knowing that I had already walked across the swings which were at a similar height, but this pole was rounded and progressively unstable towards the centre. I first took a few unsteady steps using my hands and feet, and then slowly let go and stood up halfway, and back down again. Knowing what it felt like to half stand up gave me the confidence to go further and stand completely, and eventually begin walking.

I got to a point where my confidence lacked towards the centre of the bar, and I allowed myself to fall to a waist position instead of trying to regain balance. The reason for this was that I was worried if I tried to balance on one leg leaning far out to either side I would slip off. Recognising this as just a fear and not necessarily the truth, on my next try I refused to let myself fall and did everything I could to stay up. I didn’t slip, and my confidence in my footing meant that I was more stable and therefore actually less likely to slip, and so I made it all the way to the other side. I did fall off once during that session, and to my surprise I landed safely without any worry about the fall, which was interesting considering the height was not something I would normally jump off, let alone want to fall from.
The next day I went back and repeated the route a further 5 times, gaining confidence all the time.

The most interesting thing for me was discovering that if I choose to listen to the worries I go nowhere, but if I go against them I expose them as being unnecessary and blown out of proportion. Of course there is a possibility that I could fall, but this is an obvious fact and not something worth thinking about while I’m in the middle of trying to do the exact opposite. So I have been introducing more positive thoughts and affirmations in these situations, and it is like whenever I accomplish something new I see how I am split into two different people. The voices of fear, and the actions of confidence that defy them. I am now choosing to walk in a new direction.
The good thing about overcoming and challenging these fears is that when my confidence goes up a notch I don’t have to spend hours, days or even months repeating the movement, as the actual ability or skill is already there, hidden beneath the surface of doubt.

I have committed myself to training in this way and to do things that scare me on a regular basis as part of my basic practice.

Yesterday I went back to a set of rails that I have been on a number of times before, and noticed how much my perspective and confidence on them had changed due to my training this week. It was as if they actually appeared lower, and walking on them was immediately more similar to walking on the ground, without having to spend time adjusting to them first.
I then went to a higher rail which I had never been on before as I always considered it too high, and walked easily up and down it with my new found confidence. But knowing that what I was doing wasn’t really scary, and therefore too easy, I chose a tree and began to climb with my bag still on my back. Using the same start stop method as before, I got to a point where I stayed for some time before coming down, feeling cold, but that I had sufficiently pushed myself to go further again.

Another method I have briefly touched upon in my previous training has been to choose a route and then just run it as quickly as possible using whatever methods come to me as I go along, with the emphasis on always attempting to be fast, instead of focusing on technique. The reason for this is that when I sprint or try to move as fast as I can, I get a rush of adrenaline even before I begin to move, brought on by my own anticipation. This adrenaline has already proved to be a barrier when battling fear of heights, but I also have to face it when I attempt to release control and move faster than normal. I have described this way of training as being for me possibly one of the most realistic when it comes to emulating things like real life escape or reach situations, as the effects of adrenaline are the same whether the danger is real or not.

Building upon this idea is a game I conceived some time ago, but had only ever tried on my own until training with other people this year. The idea is simple; choose a route involving as many or as few obstacles as you want, and then choose a starting and finishing point. The player has to lie down either on their front or back with arms at their sides in a relaxed position and eyes closed. The player should then attempt to relax as much as possible and think of something other than the game they are playing, and also to try and forget their surroundings altogether. Someone will then shout or clap loudly as a signal to go, at which point the player gets up and traces the route as fast as possible.
Having someone else decide when you go means that either you will be nervous with anticipation waiting for the signal that could come at any time, in seconds or possibly minutes, or you will be relaxed and then have to spring immediately into action, having to move instinctually without time to assess or sum up your movements and surroundings as usual.
Having played this game I can say that it is unlike anything I have practiced before, as you must place a certain amount of control in the hands of someone else, and get used to the feeling of just moving on command, from a state of relaxation to a brief but intense period of action. It feels like the very opposite of what I have been doing for years, and it seems to be a good way of seeing how well you can really perform when called upon. Learning to act and react quickly without the room for analysing or overanalysing the situation. Introducing a signal to change direction is just one of the ways the game can be adapted and changed to suit these principles.

Visual Motor Rehearsal
Sometimes when I imagine doing a certain movement, mostly with climbing, I physically feel sensations in my hands as if I were actually climbing. It’s usually when I see a video of someone climbing something really high or doing something that makes me nervous just by watching, and then I imagine myself in the same situation. This brings to mind the experiments in which athletes visualised exercises in their minds and the results showed that their bodies reacted as if the exercises were real.
If you think that a message has to travel from your brain to your muscles to make them work whenever you want to move, then something similar must happen if you simply imagine moving. I don’t think the brain sees much, if any difference between a thought of wanting to actually move, and just imagining moving.
It’s as if anytime we do anything, even just walking for example, we are on some level imagining ourselves taking each step immediately beforehand, but in the case of visualisation, the period between the imagining and the moving is usually a lot longer.
To be honest I haven’t done much visualisation in training, at least not of the positive kind, as it’s the thoughts of things going wrong that have played the biggest role when it comes to avoiding things. Now if we look at the other side of this, and begin to practice using our imagination as a powerful tool I think it is possible to strengthen your imagination and become more adept at using it, and in turn accomplish things that you had previously thought impossible, both physically and mentally.

I wonder whether I have ever been able to do anything that I wasn’t capable of imagining first.

I remember that when I spent more time dancing and trying to come up with new moves, I would take an idea for something and then go about seeing if it was possible by trying over and over, instead of trying to rationally analyse the physics of it for example. I think in this way my focus was more on the imagine in my mind of what I wanted to do, rather than on any thought about not being strong or capable enough in any way. I believe that if you maintain your focus on something you want instead of the obstacles in your way, you will only ever find a way of making it possible.

You have to prove your negative thoughts wrong, by acting in opposition to them.
I’ve seen people say that they can’t do such and such, without repeatedly trying, and sometimes without ever having tried at all! In those situations it is very clear how having a positive mindset can make a huge difference to what can be achieved. I have been one of those people who condemn themselves to failure before beginning, and now I feel I have come to a turning point where I can’t allow it to continue any longer, as my desire to progress is greater than my desire to stay in my comfort zone.

Einstein said: “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

Training with my rings has brought a lot of attention from other people in the park where I have been using them over the past couple of months, more noticeably from young teenagers and small children as they have been less reluctant to approach and talk to me. For me it’s been a great experience being able to share advice and play with groups of people who aren’t afraid to express their interest and get involved.

What struck me was the lack of basic strength and coordination in some of the boys who I met, all around the age of 16. Many of them couldn’t even do a single pull up, let alone skin the cat! The differences between children who are around the age of 5 and the older generations are easy to see. It brings me back to a point I have written about before; that as we age we become less spontaneous, active and enthusiastic, and more inhibited. And perhaps our inhibitions contribute to those other factors, leaving us less confident and out of touch with our bodies.

I thought to myself that there seem to be some fundamental things that underpin what it is to be human:

The need or desire to be physically active - to run, jump, climb, balance, explore and dance.
The need or desire to express ourselves through language, music, singing etc.

All of the physical activities can be viewed as a means of self expression, where dance is simply movement with the deliberate intent of expressing one’s self, with or without music.

Dance, or movement seems quite different when done to music, or in synchronisation with either another movement or sound. For example, jumping up and down in time to a piece of music is different from just jumping up and down, that is unless you create your own rhythm with your jumps.

I believe that everyone initially wants to do these things, but it is our conditioning and inhibitions that wear us down over time, alienating ourselves from our true nature.

I think that during our early years at school, as we are mostly introduced to competitive sports and not much else, we are cut off from the limitless opportunities to explore physically, and nurture this creativity, spontaneity and enthusiasm for movement that is our birthright. Sport seems to promote the idea of training in order to win, for some greater goal, whether alone or as part of a team. But human movement is something far greater than winning, losing and being better than anyone else.

I have fond memories of physical education as it was in my school during the late 80’s and early 90’s, with less structure and more freedom to do things however we felt. For example, I remember our teacher putting on a cassette and we got to run around and move in whatever way we felt fit the music. Strangely, we also had ‘country dancing’ lessons, which upon reflection, resembled a cross between Morris dancing without the bells and sticks, and American line dancing. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else who was taught that as a child, besides the other (un) fortunate people at my school.

I would like schools and governments to do more to promote and support a wide cross section of physical activities, as it seems that the prevailing attitude of society is that there are things that are acceptable for a child to do, but not for a grown adult. I don’t believe that an adult ever truly loses their interest in such things, but rather it is hidden beneath various layers that all amount to fear in some form or another. But it is easier to avoid your fears than to challenge or even acknowledge them. What seems to have become the norm, seems far from natural or optimal in my eyes.

Meeting young kids and children has made me realise even more the importance of play, the need for everyone’s individuality to be catered for, and the similarities that we all share as human beings.

I hear people of all ages complain that there are a lack of things to do in their local area or maybe even in life in general, but I believe that people simply haven’t learnt how to use their surroundings to their advantage or enjoy whatever it is they do have. Parkour is a good example of how people are going against this trend.

Resourcefulness isn’t being stimulated in our current environment and situation, and I believe that technology breeds discontent. The more means we have for instant gratification the quicker we find ourselves tiring of our lives, as the moment we satisfy one desire, we are immediately faced with a new one. Caught in a cycle of simply looking for the means to fulfil these desires, all the while missing out on long term happiness and contentment.

Being surrounded by endless distractions makes it easier for us to avoid our real fears and be present to the underlying feelings that drive us. When you can download music for free, faster than you can even listen to it you begin to take it for granted and value it less. There’s nothing inherently wrong with getting anything for free, but it seems that it is hard for us to remain appreciative of what we have when it all comes so easy.

I think this is one of the reasons why people like to work hard in their jobs and during training for example, as if appreciation of anything can only really be achieved through blood, sweat and tears so to speak. For me there has to be a middle ground - to develop an appreciation of all things, no matter how they arise in our lives, and at the same time believe that hard work is not a necessity.
Modern living hands us everything on a plate like never before, which is good in the sense that by having access to everything we want so freely, it gives us a greater opportunity to become aware of our addictions. Instantly getting everything you desire should in theory bring with it the realisation that although you wanted all of those things, in the end it only brought you momentary pleasure, and not the real happiness that you need to fill the empty spaces in your life.

How long can you go on satisfying your addictions before the pleasure you get from them begins to diminish and you are faced with that hollow feeling?

I’ve been through that process with various things before, and it all adds to the evidence that living a simple life, one in which we can derive appreciation from simple living and simple acts, is in many ways a step forward, and not a regression as some people may suggest. The existence of ever-expanding technology in itself doesn’t mean that we must buy into it and integrate with it in order to live better lives. And at the same time I don’t believe that technology should be shunned, if anything we can choose to opt out of it in many cases.

I see no need to stand in opposition of anything, because if something doesn’t serve you in any way then you just need to find a way that suits you, even if it means doing something that hasn’t yet been done. The school system is a good example. In the UK it is a legal requirement for children aged 5-16 to have an education, but nowhere is it stated that they must attend a school establishment to receive that education. If schooling as we know it doesn’t suit you or your child then there are other options if you decide to look.

I personally don’t agree with or wish to try and fit myself to the many standardised models for human life that exist today. I don’t wish to work a 9-5 job all year round, going against my body clock and my natural instincts in order to earn money to exchange for food and other sustenance. There appears to be an unnecessary middle man involved in this process, which is money and all its associations. To me the money system is a step backwards in the history of man, and not necessarily an inevitable progression.

Nobody places the same value on anything, so for example, if you produce a painting with a few hours’ easy work, you could exchange it for something you really need, with someone who values your painting higher. This concept is easy to see when you discover how cheaply materials and labour come in order to produce the clothes we wear for instance. The fact I know how inexpensively my clothes were produced doesn’t mean that I automatically appreciate them less. A shirt on my back is still a shirt on my back, and the skills of a tailor are not something that I possess.

I believe that everyone out there has something to offer, something to exchange, a skill to utilize and a trade to be made, for something that they need in return. In theory this may constitute a job, but the problem is people are being fitted, or trying to fit themselves to jobs and lifestyles that simply don’t work for them. How many people when looking for work honestly say to themselves ‘this is what I want to do’ and then go about looking for that job, or if need be, formulating ways to create that job?

The fact is we are settling for less than we want because we believe we can’t have it.

My problem is that I need more experience trusting faith, and walking through darkness. I feel that I must see the path in order to make it to my chosen destination, but when reaching for new things, when creating new ideas there only exists this infinite space, an unidentified, uncertain future. But the unknown is only ever really one thing. Infinite possibility. Either this unknown is scary, because we fill it with all the negative, worrying possibilities that we can think of, or it is the most exciting blank canvas onto which we can sketch out our inspirations.

Once again, if we look to what has gone before, or what other people are currently doing as guideline for the possibilities that are available to us, we immediately restrict ourselves to ideas and ways of working that may not suit our needs and will only limit us in the end.
If you use your past accomplishments and failures (or anyone else’s) as parameters by which you create or imagine your future, your future will inevitably be just a regurgitation of the past. More and more I am trying to imagine and then accomplish things that I never thought possible before.
First I must dare to believe, then dare to achieve.

In some ways I’ve simplified my idea of what Parkour is to me. When I have recently been asked what I’m training, or what Parkour is I simply describe it as a combination of running, climbing, balancing and jumping. How and why any combination of those elements is used will then always be determined by the individual.

I feel that what separates the different arts is whether or not they produce a physical end product. If you take music for example, there is nothing left when the song finishes, unless a completely separate action of recording has taken place. Dance is the same; you have your physical body and the means with which to move, and when you’re done there is nothing, like there was in the beginning.
With music and dance, the art is in the action and not any product or bi-product. With still photography and film making the art seems to only be tangible through the end results.
In the past I’ve wondered what photography would be like if you were to go out and snap away at things with no film in the camera. Just releasing the shutter, knowing that you would never get to see the image again as it was at that exact moment. Would it still be photography? Would it still be art?

Coincidentally, having watched The Human Machine during the writing of this piece (as reccomeneded by Brad), what David Goggins is saying about being able to visualise himself before racing is exactly what I have been talking about. His explanation about hitting many walls during a race is very much what I have been experiencing when facing my fear of heights. He says that if you choose to leave the door closed you have essentially decided to quit, but if you open it up and then step through, everything gets reset and you can continue to push further on. In the same way, when I choose to do something scary I eventually hit a wall where I need to go higher, or challenge myself in another way in order to open up the realms of possibility. For me the battle is more obviously one of mental endurance, constantly testing the limits and my will to break them.

Something I have experienced when playing sports in the past is that when I am aware of my score and I am ahead in something like a game of table tennis for example, I underperform and find it hard to maintain my focus.
Recently I have noticed something similar when it comes to counting repetitions during training.
Knowing where I am in relation to my goal, whether it be at the beginning or close to the end, seems to draw my attention away from what I am doing. And like I discussed before, it is easy to slip into a pattern of doing things just for the sake of getting them done, and not paying attention to how and why it is you are doing them in the first place.
Although it may take hundreds or thousands of repetitions to become fully accustomed to something, that doesn't mean that we can afford to sacrifice quality for quantity at any time.
This is one reason why I favour the idea of regular training as opposed to attempting to condense hundreds of repetitions into any one session. To some extent, the more you break up such a task into smaller parts, the more you will be physically rested and fresh, and able to give your full attention to your actions.
Parkour is like learning a new language where lots of movements make up the vocabulary, which can be overwhelming if you try to learn it all at once.

I feel almost like counting certain things goes against the idea of what I am actually trying to achieve, as it's not a list of statistics about my accomplishments, but rather the actual feeling of confidence and real competence with what it is I am doing. It's not the actual number of repetitions that will determine when I move onto something else, but the shift in vision and attitude towards the task is what underlies progress.

At this point I personally don't see much that can be gained through conditioning with high reps, or doing many exercises for endurance purposes. If you intend to gain some kind of 'mental toughness' through doing hundreds of push ups for example, what crossover if any will that mental toughness have? In this example I don't think that it will serve to do anything but give you the confidence that you can repeat such a task at a later date, and perhaps push yourself further with it. But aside from that, how will it benefit you in the rest of your practice? I think that repeating something over and over will only directly affect you in relation to that particular exercise. The one thing that I think has the most crossover is training to face and overcome your fears, and fear of heights more specifically. In my experience gaining confidence at greater heights carries over into almost every aspect of Parkour.

I believe that your goals as an individual will determine what it is you need to train in order to be 'complete'. Being complete doesn't mean that there isn't room for improvement or progression, but it means that you have the attributes suited to your chosen field. A sprinter is complete if the are able to sprint over a relatively short distance, therefore as a practitioner of Parkour, how complete you are all comes down to what you are training for. For me I don't think there is much benefit in focusing on endurance exercises as my goal isn't to be able to run a marathon or set the world record for sit ups. I see Parkour as being a way of training to overcome obstacles that are ever increasing in size and difficulty, and not training to pass longer and longer groups of similar sized ones. Perhaps I might reach a stage where I'm so good at overcoming these challenges that I simply need the stamina to keep going, but it seems unlikely. I think Parkour calls for high levels of maximum strength and power that enable you to quickly cover vast amounts of space that someone with less strength would not. In many cases being stronger will negate any need for having high levels of endurance, but in Parkour it seems that the opposite is rarely true if ever.

My voyage into the world of strength training has already brought me further than I imagined I would ever go, and I have even opened up to the idea of using weights, in particular learning how to back squat. I have been practising over a number of weeks with bodyweight and a barbell, working on perfecting my form and increasing my flexibility in the areas needed, with the intention of eventually adding weight once I have ironed out my physical creases. I noticed almost instantly the shift from feeling squats in my quads, to feeling them in the hamstrings and glutes as I struggled to maintain my form down to parallel.
I think that even if people don't have access to weights or wish to use anything but bodyweight, simply learning correct squatting technique will be of great benefit over time and will probably save many people from injury. There is a very good guide to squatting here on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=C03D688F10C4DE1F with an accompanying blog that may also be of interest.

Not only do I have a new found love of squatting, but my interest in running has been reignited once again. In my early school days I enjoyed sprinting and long distance running among other things, but my quest to improve my all round physical well being has led me to begin almost re learning everything from scratch again. I feel that up until now I simply continued doing what I was doing without much thought given to my overall posture, flexibility and running technique. This little revolution of mine is intended to put right many things which have been neglected over many years of training. I think I believed that it was too late for me to begin again, and that I had resigned myself to being stuck with what I had and who I was. But now I feel different, and I know that it will be of greater benefit to me in the long run. I think one of the hardest things to do is to admit to yourself that perhaps your way and habit of doing things is not the most productive or efficient in relation to your goals.
I have been watching videos, reading articles and practicing techniques that relate to the pose method of running. The technique is something that I came across years ago and at the time was of little interest to me, and I believe that only now are these things coming into my life again because I am ready for them.

Breadwinner
On a different note, over the past 3 months I have been baking my own bread entirely from scratch, and in a standard electric oven. I think I originally began baking bread because we had ran out at home, but we did have the ingredients to make some, and since then I haven't stopped. I have bought bread on only a few occasions, but bake my own at least 3 times a week; just enough for me to eat and not have it sitting around getting stale. I managed to buy 2 kilos of seeds from Holland and Barrett; 2 500g bags of sunflower, and 2 500g bags of pumpkin seeds for a total of just over £5! I have been adding them to the dough, along with various other things like grated carrot, garlic and herbs, finely chopped onion, grated spinach and tomato. It's been a real treat making my daily bread and being able to regulate what goes into it, leaving out unnecessary additives and preservatives and using a minimal amount of salt.